2UE whale

(Mike Williams, 2UE)
Yes, who would have thought humpback whales have so much in common with the likes of the Rolling Stones or Coldplay!
A Macquarie University academic has found humpback whales behave a lot like musicians. They like to get together to have a jam and swap a few songs. In humpback terms that means learning to sing each others' whale songs.
Libby Eyre from Macquarie's Biological Sciences Museum studied two groups of whales that migrate from Antarctica to warm tropical waters in the Pacific each year.
The first group is one most people in Sydney will be familiar. These are humpbacks that travel up the NSW coast every June and July to mate and breed in Queensland.
The second group do much the same thing, but travel up via New Zealand to the warm waters around Tonga.
It's long been thought that these whale groups don't have too much to do with each other once they get to their breeding grounds, which are about two or three thousand kilometres apart.
The male whales sing songs which can travel hundreds of kilometres through the ocean.
Libby studied the songs of both groups of whales and found as they make their ways North they each have a distinct and unique whale song. It can last for up to 30 minutes and cover eight octaves.
But by the time they come down the coast something unexpected happens.
In certain years NSW whales come down the coast singing snatches of the Tongan whale song. And presumably the Tongan whales make their way south.
There's a bit of a mystery how they learn the tunes.
It seems somehow these groups are coming into contact with each other, listening to each others' tunes and swapping them.
Whale song is beautiful but it remains mysterious. We're unsure exactly how the sound is generated, but presumably it's done using the larynx, the end of the windpipe.
Libby says there are four theories on why male whales sing.
One is they're saying I'm a big, strong male whale so all you other males better stay away.
Another is that they're singing to females saying I'm a big, strong males whale and gee I'd make a great dad for your calves.
The third is they're saying everybody, this is the way to go, let's stick together.
The final theory is that it's a combination of all of those.
The findings just add to our understanding of how intelligent whales are. It's a timely reminder at a time when Japan has again been pushing for the return of commercial whaling at the International Whaling Commission in the Carribbean. That move was defeated by Japan still harvests whales for supposedly scientific purposes.Despite killing the whales in the name of science, nuch of their meat apparently ends up on Japanese tables.

2UE Cockroach

That's right, Mike.
It sounds on first hearing like science's most useless and disgusting invention - a robotic cockroach, capable of scuttling across the floor just like the real thing.
But the coalition of European scientists who have developed the insbot - short for insect robot- say it could lead to better pest control and even better farming techniques down the track.
A group of researchers at universities in Belgium, France and Swizerland began work on the project in 2002.
It's part of the developing field of biomimetics where mankind borrows from designs in nature to make sophisticated electronics and engineering.
The European researchers first studied the behaviour of real cockroaches. They found they exhibited collective intelligence, that is the behaviour of the group was influenced by the actions and interactions single individuals. They also found the cockies had a dislike of light - they'd much rather be scuttling around under the fridge or inside a garbage bin than racing across the bright kitchen floor.
The next step was to construct the robot out of the latest electronics. Each roachbot is about the size of a matchbox and looks like a little sandwich of electronics rather than a brown and shelly real cockroach. Inside the sandwich is a series of microprocessors - small computers - which control behaviour, a camera to detect what's around and distance sensors to see how close it is. The whole package rolls on tiny wheels and can go a couple of metres a second. It's also coated in pheromones, natural hormones that cockies use to identify each other.
When scientists let it loose in a cockie community they found that cockroaches accepted it as one of their own. It doesn't look much like them but smelled right and acted like one of the crowd. Once inside the communities the robots were able to influence roach behaviour. In one experiment four roachbots were released among 12 real cockroaches and managed to convince the cockies to leave the darkness they crave and enter a bright area. The robots were truly the kings of the cockroaches.
It doesn't sound like much of an achievement but it could have far reaching applications.
Firstly imagine how effective a cockroach trap would be if a roachbot was involved. You could just send it out and it would lure the real cockies in for the chop.
Then imagine if this type of technology could be applied to other areas where me manage insects and animals.
A beebot could be used to move behives from location to location. All you would need would be a robot bee coated with queen bee pheromones.
A fishbot could be released into the ocean and lead schools of tuna into the nets of fishermen.
A chickenbot could be used to move chooks to feeding areas.
A sheepbot could replace cattledogs.
It's exciting stuff and we're going to hear a lot more about it in the years to come.
Let's just hope we don't see a spider bot. Now that's something I'd like to squash.
Other advances in biomimetics, copying nature to make machines better include the snakebot. This has been developed in the United States as a tool for rescuing the victims of earthquakes and building collapses. The snake shaped device can crawl through the rubble with a self contained camera, getting to places human rescuers can't.
Closer to home researchers at the University of Sydney researchers have developed wave motion machines based on the shape of a fish tail and of seaweed. By mimicking nature's designs it's hoped that wear and tear can be reduced.

Theatre sports speech

Theatre Sports Run Down
(With Allan Morris providing the ''arms'' for me in an expert double figures demonstration)
Mr Toastmaster, fellow members and guests.
As toastmasters, we are looking for ways to improve the way we communicate.
For some of us that's about thinking on the spot, for others it's about feeling more comfortable standing in front of an audience or speaking more forcefully and clearly.
I'd like to tell you tonight a side project of mine that I believe is helping me develop in those areas and I believe could help other toastmasters.
It's called theatre sports and it's a form of improvised theatre where participants use their bodies and their wits to entertain an audience.
Thank you Allan for helping me demonstrate one of the games we learned in the course - it's known as expert double figures.
Late last year I review a theatre sports tournament called the cranston cup.
For those of you who weren't here for that or don't remember, please allow me to recap a little about theatre sports' origins and what it's all about.
The concept was born in Canada in the 1970s when a university theatre teacher called Keith Johnstone noticed while sports like ice hockey and american football attracted massive crowd, the theatre was quite poorly attended.
He decided it was because people attending sporting events felt they were guaranteed a good time, that they felt an involvement with what they were watching, that they could vocalise their feelings by yelling out and support a particular team.
He adopted the old adage if you can't beat them join them and developed theatre sports which takes the best of sport and combines it with theatre.
Theatre sports usually involves several teams of three or four people coming together at a venue like a theatre or a pub.
In front of an audience they then play a series of improvisation games and a panel of judges rates each game.
Points are gained for originality, structure and how well the audience is entertained. The audience is encourage to cheer and clap and if things go very badly to boo.
At the end of the night the team with the most points is the winner.
There are dozens of games which can be played and teams have no idea which one they will be roped into.
Let me explain a couple of the most popular ones:
In expert double figures, which Allan helped me partially demonstrate earlier, two players provide the ''arms'' for two characters in a scene by looping their arms through their armpits. The characters then have a conversation which their hand movements provided by the support players. The effect of expressive hairy arms stroking the chin of a slim young woman can be hilarious.
In Crime Scene endowment one of the player is nominated the criminal and leaves the room. The audience then come up with a crime he has committed, a location where it took place and a well-known accomplice. He returns to the room and is interrogated by two ''police officers'' from his team who have to communicate to him the crime he has committed without actually saying it. If Allan was the criminal accused of stealing lollies and I was playing the officer I might say: Sit down Mr Cadbury. Bit of a sweet tooth have we sir....
I loved watching theatre sports as an audience member and decided to sign up for a level one class run by improv australia, a respected theatre sports school.
I hoped to improve my comfort in front of an audience and gain greater self-expression.
The first class was a nightmare for me. I felt way out of my depth. Out of a class of 15 it seemed I was the only one without previous theatre experience.
I persevered though and learned the basic rule of theatre sports was to support other players and accept offers made by them.
We started with simple exercises - someone would adopt a pose in front of the class - like this - and a classmate would get up and act in a way that made sense of it. ''don't shoot''.
From there we began playing out simple scenes where one person would pretend to be washing a car or painting a house and a classmate would get up and talk to him and they would play out a scene.
We went on to learn fun games with bizarre names including death in a minute, sing about it, typewriter and pop-up story book.
I had high points and low points as the course progressed. Some of my performances were stinkers, but gradually some began to work.
I moved on to the level two course where we were taught some stagecraft with a view to performing in front of a live audience. We learned more games and got better at the ones we already knew.
Finally on Friday two weeks ago we performed for the first time as a group.
A crowd of about 75 people turned up to the Clarence Hotel on Parramatta Rd at Leichhardt and nine of us took to the stage, hoping to do our best and make them laugh.
It was frightening, but also exhilerating.
Some of the games I was in bombed. But others worked really well. When a judge held up a maximum points card for one of the scenes I was in I was chuffed.
I learned it's okay if things sometimes don't work out so well on stage.
It's worth it because it can be a real pleasure to perform.
I'd recommend a theatre sports course to anyone here who would like to go out their comfort zone and improve their communication skills.

space association speech

Sydney Space Association
Terraforming Mars - How Soon?
3500 words, 25 - 30 mins.

Good evening ladies and gentlemen and thank you very much for having me as your guest tonight.
This is my second visit to the Sydney Space Association and the reception on both occasions has been very friendly.
It's a pleasure for me to be talking to you on the subject of Mars and the possibilities for terraforming it - turning it into a world capable of supporting human life.
Tonight I'd like to start by telling you a little bit about myself and then move onto the history of Mars exploration.
I'd then like to look at how soon we can expect to get humans on Mars and finally look at the options for terraforming the planet.
My background is in journalism, rather than space science.
I have been a journalist now for 15 years and I've worked on The Sun-Herald, The Sydney Morning Herald and for a number of trade, regional and suburban papers.
For the past two years I've had the pleasure of editing the science page - or Discovery page - for The Sun-Herald.
I say the pleasure because science and space have been interests of mine since I was child. As a boy and in my teens I used to devour science fiction from Isaac Asimov to John Wyndam.
And I loved all the great space programs of the era, Star Trek, Space 1999, UFO, the Carl Sagan specials and Leonard Nimoy's In Search Of...
I'm still a big science fiction fan and recently I've been re-reading some classics - HG Wells, Jules Verne, Arthur Conan Doyle as well as a collection of 1940s sci fi works.
The past two years have been a good time to be writing about science and space.
I've had the opportunity to use my column to write about the Deep Impact comet mission; the Cassini probe to Saturn's moon Titan; the Ansari X-prize for commerical space flights and the ill-fated Genesis sample return mission.
We've also had the, again ill-fated, launch of a solar sail trial and plans by American billionaire Robert Bigelow for a space hotel.
I have been priviledged to speak extensively on a couple of occasions to Australian astronaut Dr Andy Thomas, both before the flight of Discovery and on his return.
On the non-space side I've written about shark-shaped submarines, cloning neanderthal man and the science of winning a football tipping competitions.
In March of this year I reported on plans by a NASA academic published in the Journal of Geophysical Research to create a habitable atmosphere for Mars, using greenhouse gases
I'll come back to that later.
I know I'm speaking to a group that's very knowlegable on the subject of space, but please allow me to recap a little bit about what we know about Mars.
The planet was named after the Roman god of war and has intrigued human beings since the dawn of civilisation and beyond.
It is the fourth planet from the Sun with a surface area about one quarter that of Earth's and about one tenth the mass. It has two moons Phobios and Deimos and the Martian day is roughly as long as the Earth's - a little over 24 hours.
Mars has a relatively thin atmosphere, made up mostly of carbon dioxide with a little argon, nitrogen and oxygen. Air pressure is roughly one per cent that on earth, gravity is roughly one third that on earth.
Mars receives about 43 per cent of the sunshine earth gets orbits the sun at a distance of 228 million kilometres.
There are no oceans, but there is evidence of frozen water. Surface temperatures don't get much above about 20 degrees celcius and can plunge as low as -120 degrees. The average temperature is about minus 63 C.
In the Winter months when temperatures fall, up to 25 per cent of the atmospheric CO2 freezes around the poles into sheets metres thick.
It's not the sort of place you'd want to take your Christmas vacation. And not, at first glance, the sort of place you'd suspect could host human life.
In the early days of modern astronomy there were several misconceptions about the planet.
The Italian astronomer Giovanni Schiaparelli declared at the end of 19th century that Mars was covered with a series of channels or canals, a idea which an American colleague Percival Lowell picked up and ran with. Lowell supposed the shapes he saw were the work of an advanced civilisation, far beyond that on earth.
We know now they were both wrong and the canals were the result of an ocular aberation
It was also supposed changes in the colour of the planet were the result of plant life and harvests. We know now they are the result of normal atmospheric changes related to the seasons.
Our understanding of Mars really exploded in the 1960s with the advent of space probes which allowed us a close up look at the planet.
However, as many of you will know, getting a craft to Mars is no easy feat and about two thirds of all probes sent to the planet either didn't make it or malfunctioned on arrival.
The East-West space race drove early Mars exploration at a frantic rate.
The Soviets were the first to give it a shot, sending two probes towards Mars in 1960. Both failed to arrive.
They tried again in 1962 with three probes, again without success.
In 1964 the Americans tried with two Mariner spacecraft.
The first failed, but the second Mariner 4 made the eight-month journey to the red planet, flying by in 1965 and giving us our first close-up view of another planet.
Subsequent probes, when they didn't break down or miss the planet altogether, managed to attain orbit around the planet.
In 1971 the Soviets managed to put a lander, Mars 3, on the surface of the planet, although it only functioned for a few seconds.
The American Viking program was the breakthrough in terms of exploring the surface of Mars.
In 1976 two Viking lander modules made soft landings on Mars, returning the first colour images and detailed scientific information.
I still remember as a young boy in the 1970s seeing the images of strikingly red, barren landscape and being filled with wonder.
More recently we've had a host of successful missions filling in gaps in our knowlege about Mars.
The Mars Global Surveyor has studied the entire Martian surface; Mars Pathfinder deployed a ground-breaking rover; the European space agency's Mars Express confirmed the presence of water ice and carbon dioxide at the north pole; the Mars exploration Rovers have proved resounding successes finding evidence suggesting the presence of liquid water in Mars' past.
But where are we headed with Mars in the future? And how long before man touches down on the planet in person?
A number of nations and organisations are eyeing off the red planet with the thought of further exploration, including a possible manned mission.
I'm sure all of you will be aware of George W. Bush's landmark Vision for Space Exploration address last year.
In it the president re-asserted America's intention for manned exploration of the universe, indicating NASA would return to the moon sometime between 2015 and 2020. We now have the firmer date of 2018 for the moon mission.
While President Bush spoke of travelling to Mars, he did not give a timetable for starting the mission.
But NASA officials indicated to journalists at the time of the President's speech such a mission could take place some time after 2030.
In the meantime NASA will be launching another lander mission to Mars in 2007.
The Americans expect to launch their first sample return mission - collecting samples from the surface of the planet and returning them to earth - in 2014, a little under a decade.
Of course, the plans may change along with governments and the economic position of the United States. It is feared, for example, funding the rebuilding of areas ravaged by Hurricane Katrina may eat into funds for space.
The European Space Agency has been a little more bold in nominating its time frame for a manned mission to Mars.
Under the Aurora exploration program the agency hopes to carry out a manned mission to the moon in 2024 to demonstrate life support and habitation technologies.
It hopes to send an automatic mission to Mars in 2026 to test the phases of its planned human mission.
This will unfold in two phases starting in 2030 and 2033.
Bolder and faster still are the plans adocated by the Mars Society.
Founded in 1998 by aerospace engineeer and author Dr Robert Zubrin, the society advocates an economical and fast-tracked Mars landing.
It believes a manned Mars mission could be achieved in 10 years and at a cost in today's Australian dollars of about $45 billion.
While it's unlikely the plan called Mars Direct will happen any time soon it gives us a pretty good idea of how a Mars mission may unfold.
The proposal involves sending an unmanned earth return vehicle to Mars using a standard launch rocket. On board would be hydrogen a chemical plant and a small nuclear reactor.
After eight months the craft would land on the planet's surface and begin work, using the hydrogen it carried in combination with carbon dioxide from the Martian atmosphere to produce methane and oxygen propellants. These would be used to return the craft to earth at the end of its mission.
26 months after the launch of the first mission a second vehicle incorporating a Mars Habitation unit would be launched carrying a crew of four.
After a six-month voyage, in which artificial gravity was maintained, the crew would touch down on the planet surface close to the ERV.
The crew would then undertake 18 months of scientific research using fuel supplies generated by the first vehicle before using it for the return journey to earth.
After analysing the Mars Direct plan, NASA formulated a possible mission scenario of its own which it called the Mars Reference Mission, or affectionately Mars Semi Direct. It alters the Mars Society plan in that it involves sending a crew of six instead of four and parks the earth return vehicle in orbit over Mars rather than on its surface, but in many respects it is similar.
Whatever the model is eventually used and whichever space agency achieves the feat, I think you'll agree it will be an amazing day when man finally steps foot on the Mars. I was born in October 1969 and so I missed the moon landing. But I imagine humans will experience a similar feeling of awe some time after 2030 when we touch down on this foreign world, millions of kilometres from our own.
Where we go from the first landing will depend on a range of factors: economic, political, ethical.
I personally believe we should go onto establish a colony on the planet for several reason.
Many of these were beautifully expressed by leading scientists, including Freeman Dyson, when approached by Space.com in 2001.
Firstly we have an obligation as human beings to ensure the survival of our species. Life on earth is balanced precariously and anything from a comet strike to nuclear conflict could extinguish life here. Establishing life on other planets ensures such an event will not be the end of the human species.
Secondly we have the potential to spread life and beauty throughout the universe. Colonising Mars could also have economic benefits.
With overcrowding a constant worry on earth, finding alternate homes for mankind could reduce stresses on our environment.
Finally to aspire to colonise the solar system provides entertainment, inspiration and hope to the people of earth.
If we do decide to maintain our presence on Mars its likely that we would initially build up a small base, linking together various habitats sent up on successive missions to create a human-safe haven.
Over time our presence on Mars would become more self sufficient, relying less on supplies carried from earth and more on provisions grown or created on the planet.
Greenhouses could be established to produce food from the Martian soil using specially-bred crops.
Greater self-sustainability could allow greater numbers of people.
Some visions for increasingly larger human bases on Mars include using inflatable habitats.
Others propose using existing structures for human environments such as sealing off lava tubes. Because Martian gravity is lower than that on earth these tubes are sizable and capable of housing communities. Other plans still propose capping craters to create a pressurised, oygenated environment.
Eventually, if colonisation proves successful and we wish to extend our presence on Mars we may some very significant decisions to make.
Firstly whether we should terraform mars - turn it into a planet that better suits our needs and can better support a human population.
And if we decide to go ahead with terraforming what method we will use.
Advocates of terraforming say it is human kind's right to alter the world to make it more suitable to us, as we have done on earth.
Terraforming would make Mars a more receptive environment to our kind and allow us to breed in greater numbers.
But critics say we have no right to drastically alter another pristine environment.
The debate will become more heated if it turns out there is even microbial life on Mars.
In turning Mars into a planet that better suits us we may make it a toxic environment for its native life forms. Do we have that right?
For me it would depend somewhat on the sophistication of the life.
A simple bacteria, which we could preserve, catalogue and maintain for posterity, might be a life form we would consider pushing aside for the greater good of mankind.
The more complex the life we potentially find on Mars the harder it is to make a case for altering the environment.
But in the case of a threat to the earth, I imagine most of us would agree humans should come first.
One alternative is terraforming is parraterraforming - the creation of massive enclosed artificial spaces across the surface of mars.
Much like in Canada where cities are built underground to allow humans to survive the harsh winter months, enormous human spaces could be built to shelter us from the Martian conditions. The film Total Recall portrayed this.
Another could be to genetically alter humans rather than the martian environment.
It may be easier in the future to change our make up so we don't require conditions currently found on earth.
If we do decide to go down the terraforming route, there are several hurdles to overcome
The temperature must be raised; the atmosphere needs to be thickened; liquid water needs to be made available; cosmic radiation needs to be reduced; and oxygen must be increased in the atmosphere .
The two most important steps are thickening the atmosphere and increasing the temperature on Mars.
Almost all modern terraforming methods propose doing this through something called the runaway greenhouse effect. It's linked to the problems we're having on earth with global warming.
For Mars the runaway greenhouse effect means increasing the amount of greenhouse gases - such as carbon dioxide and chloroflurocarbons - in the atmosphere.
These gases trap the heat of the sun, which in turn heats up the atmopshere.
On Mars a warmer atmosphere would melt frozen carbon dioxide which would then become a gas.
This gas would be taken up into the atmosphere in turn producing more heat. And so the process feeds off itself and the atmosphere becomes thicker and warmer.
Five of the main methods for kick-starting the effect are:
1. Placing orbital mirrors in space near Mars;
2. Setting up factories of the surface to produce chloroflurocarbons
3. Importing ammonida rich objects onto Mars
4. Darkening the reflective martina surface with organisms such as algae
5. Detonating nuclear weapons on the poles
The mirror method would see future scientists take an ultra light reflective material - such the Mylar being used by NASA in experiments- and create a massive mirror or array of mirrors some 200,000 kilometres from Mars. The mirror, which would be hundreds of kilometres across - would reflect the light from the sun back towards Mars, raising of its surface by several degrees. This would release frozen carbon dioxide which would kickstart the greenhouse effect.
Supporters of this plan say the mirror could be made from materials found in space or on Mars' moons.
The second major method would be to establish massive greenhouse gas factories on the surface of Mars.
Supporters of this plan say the factories could be constructed on Mars and would pump out the most powerful greenhouse gases - chloroflurocarbons. Again this would kickstart the runaway greenhouse effect, thickening the atmosphere and warming the surface.
The downside of the plan would be the ozone layer above Mars would be destroyed by the gases, as it is on earth. Further engineering may be neccessary to remedy this problem.
Robert Zubrin from the Mars Society has advocated a third method of starting the greenhouse effect.
Ammonia is a powerful greenhouse gas and it is likely large amounts of it have been stockpiled on asteroid sized objects orbiting the solar system.
Zubrin proposes attaching nuclear thermal rocket engines to these asteroids and directing them to Mars.
There they would either be impacted onto the planet surface or aerobraked to allow them to release their ammonia into the atmosphere.
The asteroids would also add to the mass of the planet. Again the additional gases would stimulate the greenhouse effect.
Another option is to change the albedo or reflectiveness of the martian surface using living organisms.
Dark microbial lichens for example, capable of living on Mars, could potentially be introduced to blacken the planet's surface. Bcause dark colours absorb more heat, the temperature of the planet could be raised.
A final extreme solution is to bombard Mars with nuclear weapons.
If the detonated on the polar regions, these could melt vast quantities of water and frozen carbon dioxide. The gases produced would thicken the atmosphere and the dust generated would cover the Martian surface, decreasing it reflectivity.
The detonation of additional nuclear weapons underneath the surface would heat the crust and help release further supplies of carbon dioxide.
Advocates of the nuclear plan say it could help rid earth of its ageing stockpiles of nuclear weapons.
But critics are against the contamination of mars with nuclear waste and the destruction of its environment.
In theory any of these options could progress towards becoming a planet far more like earth.
However atmospheric fine tuning would be neccessary to increase oxygen levels.
Whatever option we ultimately chose, if we do indeed chose to go ahead with terraforming, the process of change will take thousands, probably tens of thousands of years.
Our grandchildren and their grandchildren will never see a terraformed Mars.
But it's amazing thought to consider how the planet may one day look millennia from now.
Instead of a sterile, airless cold world, imagine a place capable of sustaining life, with cities and lakes and human activity.
Imagine fields growing Martian crops to sustain the population and whole generations of human beings born on a planet other than earth.
It's an exciting concept and if we chose to continue terraforming as a way of colonising the solar system there are other options.
Venus, the second planet from the sun, could be made suitable for human life under plans proposed by some scientists.
The main issues on that planet are the extreme heat generated by the intensity of the sun and the denseness of the venetian atmosphere.
Advocates of Venus colonisation say huge solar shades could constructed to reduce the amount of sunlight the planet receives.
By reducing the heat of the planet, the shades could also reverse the density of the atmosphere in a sort of reverse greenhouse effect.
Other options for terraforming include Saturn's moon Titan, Mercury, Jupiter's moon Europa and earth's moon.
And so in conclusion, if we keep heading down the track we are heading with the world's space programs, it's possible we could see our first manned mission to Mars as early 2030.
By the middle of the century and into the second half we could see increasingly sophisticated outposts on Mars, perhaps leading to a simple, but growing colony.
It's much harder to put a timeframe on if and when terraforming will occur.
But given the thought that is going into the concept today, it's likely that more sophisticated techniques for adapting Mars for our purposes will emerge over the next decade.
I envy our descendents who one day may be able to breathe in a lungful of Martian air, stroll beneath a Martian sky and raise kids on the red planet.
Thank you.

cranston speech

Cranston Cup Review
780 Words - about five minutes
Mr Toastmaster, fellow members and guests. good evening.
I have been coming to toastmaster meetings here at Balmain now for about five months, but I realised very early on that one of the most challenging things we do here is take part in table topics.
As each of you know from experience, getting up in front of the group, without any preparation, and talking on a topic you may know absolutely nothing about requires calm and quick thinking.
Even really experienced speakers sometimes have to draw on their full intellectual resources to speak for the required time and to keep the audience entertained.
But imagine if you can, table topics on steroids.
Imagine if as well as getting up and speaking, you were called on to act out elaborate and often ludicrous scenes, with no notice.
And that instead of listening, the toastmaster was barking out orders, telling you to talk with an Irish accent or walk with a limp or act like a zombie.
What I'm describing is not something Allan and Graham have dreamed up to spice up meetings in 2006.
At least I don't think so .....
Instead its a form of improvised theatrical performance called theatre sports.
I was recently lucky enough to attend the finals of the Cranston Cup, Sydney's theatre sports championships.
It was an hilarious night and I'd like to tell you about it and a bit about theatre sports, its origins and its rules.
Some of you may be familiar with the basic concept from the British or American version of the show, Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Theatre sports' origins lie in Canada and in particular, Ontario.
In the mid 1970s the University of Calgary employed a theatre teacher by the name of Keith Johnstone.
Johnstone had worked as an actor at the Royal Court Theatre in London and taught at Britain's equivalent of NIDA, the Royal Academy for Dramatic Arts as well as a number of other top schools.
In 1976 he was struck by the way that sporting events such as ice hockey and football attracted massive crowds while theatrical events were only modestly attended.
He decided it was because people attending sporting events felt they were guaranteed a good time, that they felt an involvement with what they were watching, that they could vocalise their feelings by yelling out and support a particular team.
Adopting the well-known adage if you can't beat them join them, he looked for a way to taje the best aspects of sporting matches and bring them to theatre.
The concept he developed with a team called the Select Improv Group was theatre sports.
The idea involves two or more teams, sometimes composed of actors, but at other times just people interested in performing.
A panel of judges assesses the performances put on by the teams and like sporting events there is a winner and loser or losers.
The competition itself involves games centred on improvisation.
There are score of games that can be played, but all involve the participants thinking on their feet - just like we do in table topics.
One example of a game is where participants are required to construct a one or two minute play based on themes shouted out at random by the audience.
Another might see a team start to act out a scene in the style of a 1950s western, only to be told by the moderator of the match to start acting like they are in a horror movie or musical or kids TV show.
Another still is where teams of three or more are asked to put together a coherent story by each adding one word at a time. Once ... upon .... a..... time .....
In Death in a Minute a team has to act out a one-minute play that ends in the death of one or all of the characters.
After being created in Canada, the theatre sports concept quickly spread around the world and the Cranston Cup in Sydney has been competed for for 14 years.
I went to the final at the Enmore Theatre and I laughed for three hours straight. I was laughing so much it was becoming painfull.
There were a few celebrities competing including ABC 702's Adam Spencer and Jai Laga'aia from Water Rats but they were quickly knocked out and a team of relative unknowns with rubbery faces and great comic timing won the prize and the audience's applause.
I was so inspired I'm thinking of doing a theatre sports workshop in 2006.
I think it will be challenging, but also fun.
And maybe, just maybe, I'll pick up some skills for dealing with those tricky table topics.
Thank you.

chook speech

Chicken talk review
680 words.
About five minutes.

Mr Toastmaster, fellow members and guests
Buck buck buck
Buck buck buck
Buck buck buck-aw, buck-aw
Buck buck buck-aw
For those of you who don't speak chicken, please allow me to translate.
What I just said was: look out there's a predator like a fox or a badger over there and it looks like it's coming this way.
I know this because I've recently visited the website of Australia's own Dr Doolittle, an academic from Macquarie University by the name of Dr Chris Evans.
Evans has spent the past two decades decoding the communications secrets of animals from chickens to lizards. His amazing research shows chickens in particular have a rich arrray of word-like noises and are even capable of lying.
In my review tonight I'd like to tell you tonight a little about his website: http://galliform.bhs.mq.edu.au/.
People who have cats and dogs might assume that their barking and howling and miaowing are a language of sorts.
In fact, scientists believe in the case of most animals, the noises they make are simply a reflection of their emotional state.
A cat can caterwaul and miaow to express that it's hungry, or in pain or happy or wants to mate.
But it can't use true language to describe objects it sees: table, chair, intelligent and good-looking toastmasters group.
However, we are learning that a select group of animals can.
Reseachers in various universities around the world have proved social animals, like chimps and monkeys, can use basic words.
Various monkey species have different calls to describe different predators. One call might describe a snake. Another a hawk. Another a jaguar.
Dolphins and meerkats - those cute african mammals - have shown similar ability.
In the 1990s Evans, for reasons best known to himself, had a feeling that chickens may have similar skills.
He conducted a range of experiments to test for language ability.
Chickens were placed in cages and shown a range of stimuli, sometimes by themselves, sometimes in the presence of other chickens.
Sometimes they were shown predators. Sometimes they were given food.
Evans concluded the birds had different ''words'' for different predators.
When they were shown a video of an aerial predator they emitted a high pitched keening noise. They made the noise only when other birds were around to hear.
You can go to the website and listen to it, but it sounds a little like this:
eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeee
When the chooks were shown a video of a ground predator they made a totally different noise - or word if you like.
It's also on the website and sounds like:
buck buck buck-aw
Evans also found the chooks had the ability to lie. And liars were eventually found out.
Male chickens make a chirp chirp chirp noise when they find food. The noise attracts females and this gives the males an opportunity to mate.
Evans found some males lied about finding food so they could mate with females. But the ploy worked only a limited number of times before the hens smelled a rat.
It's fascinating stuff and shows language-like ability in an animal whose evolutionary course is greatly different from man's.
Evans points out his results did not please everyone.
A colleague of his kept chickens as a boy in the country and assumed the hens were greeting him when he went out to feed them each day.
When he heard of Evans' results he realised the chooks were in fact saying: ''ground predator! ground predator!"
Evans still has plenty of work to get on with. Of 20 identified chicken sounds, he has only decoded three or four. He believes some of the others may refer to the chicken's emotional state, but others could again be refering to actual objects in the world.
Evans' website has recordings and graphs of the different calls, videos of the chooks making them and other information.
You don't have to be a scientist to enjoy listening to the calls and trying to become an amateur chicken linguist.
Finally: buck-aw buck-aw buck buck.
That's chicken for thanks for listening.

idol speech

700 words - about five minutes
Mister toastmaster, fellow members and guest.
With your permission, I'd like to lower the tone of Balmain Toastmasters tonight.
Don't worry I'll be keeping my clothes ON.
Over the past few weeks I've had the priviledge of listening to some great speeches on topics ranging from the workings of a thorium nuclear reactor to the philosophy of giving.
But tonight I'd like to talk to you about ...... reality TV.
I'd like to tell you a little bit about one reality TV show - Australian Idol - where it came from and why I enjoy it.
Let me start by explaining for anyone who's unfamiliar with the term that reality TV is a genre of television that does away with scripts, sets and actors.
Instead the television camera follows real people as they go through their lives or enter into an extraordinary situation.
Reality TV really took off in 2000 when television executives in the US came up with the idea for Survivor - marooning a group of people with different personalities on an island, giving them chance to vote each other off and seeing who was the last man standing. In the UK at about the same time TV producers had a similar idea which they called Big Brother.
The critics panned these shows as voyeuristic and pandering to people's basest emotions.
But the public loved them and voted with their remote controls, tuning in in their millions.
Not long after Survivor's success a British music producer by the name of Simon Fuller had a bright idea.
In 2001 Fuller came up with the concept for a show called Pop Idol that was both simple and ingenious. It was a knock-out competition for singers to decide who would get a recording contract.
The format involved auditioning thousands of people across the country to find the 50 or 60 most talented.
Heats were then held to whittle that group down to 12 finalists who were to battle it out over 12 weeks.
In the first week of the finals all 12 singers performed and the public voted on who they liked best by SMS or phone.
The singer with the lowest number of votes was eliminated and the process went on week after week until just one singer was left standing - the idol.
The public was helped in making up its mind by judges representing different aspects of the music industry.
Britons loved the show when it debuted in 2002 and it was quickly spun off around the world as American Idol, Canadian Idol and .... Australian idol.
Personally, I'm a very occasional TV watcher and I usually avoid reality TV. It's good fun.
In the first year of the series in 2003 the judges were former popstar Mark Holden, soul singer Marcia Hines and music executive Ian Dickson.
The show quickly became one of the biggest hits on TV and at the end of 19 weeks the afro-haired Christian Guy Sebastian edged out country boy Shannon Noll.
The second series was also popular and in the end a larger than life girl named Casey Donovan was voted idol.
Her victory was a little overshadowed when one of the show's sponsors Telstra took out huge ads directing people to what was supposedly Casey's website. Unfortunately they left off the dot au from the address and mum, dads and kids looking for casey ended up on a gay porn site.
I'm really enjoying the current series where there are seven contestants left.
A Beyonce-like singer called Emily is shaping up like she could be the eventual winner, but it's early days. Anyone could win and it's exciting to see who's left week after week.
I also believe idol can teach us a thing or two about being better public speakers.
Each week the contestants get up and perform and sometimes they are clearly nervous. And each week they strive to be a bit better.
I think that's brave and inspirational and I think it's a little like what we do here.
It may sound funny, but I think if we can bring a little bit of Australian idol to toast masters each week, that may not be such a bad thing.

chairman's running sheet

It's 7.15 and so let's get underway.
Blam Blam.
I'd like to declare this meeting open.
Thank you everyone for coming along tonight.
I'd like to welcome in particular our area governor Bruce Crawley who will be giving us a six minute address later on tonight and ... who is a special guest speaker.
Also I'd like to welcome our visitors tonight .. You're very welcome at our club and I congratulate you for coming along. I know it's not easy the first time.

For those of you who don't know me, my name is Daniel Dasey.
This is my first meeting as chairman and I hope you'll be tolerant of any mistakes I make or if things don't run totally smoothly. I'll be doing my best for you.
At this stage of the evening I'd like to ask everybody to introduce themselves.
Out theme this evening is showtime. That was chosen because this is the time of year when the royal easter show gets underway with its rides and showbags and livestock. We've also just had a major show in town with the rolling stones performing last night.
As we go around the room I'd like to ask everyone to introduce themselves and say a few words on the subject of showtime.
Graham could you please get us started...
Excellent answers.
At this stage I would like to ask if there is any general business that anyone would like to raise?
Any further general business?

Alright, we now turn to the assignment of tasks.
Our table topics master tonight is ...
Could we have two evaluators for the table topics.
Our reviewer tonight is
We need a general evaluator
We need a timer
We need a quizmaster. I will be happy to take on that assignment.
Is there anybody who has not been assigned a task who would like to do one?
The next item on the agenda is table topics. This is the part of the evening where all members and visitors get the chance to practice their improvised speaking skills by talking for a minute or so on an unprepared topic.

Out table topics master tonight is .... and I'd like to introduce him/her to take us though tonights topics. Please welcome .....

Thankyou.
I see that the agenda indicates that
Let's have a 10-minute adjournment and meet back here at 8...
Blam
Blam Blam
Welcome back.
The next item on the agenda

Thank you for an exellent
I'd now like to turn the meeting over to for a general evaluation.
Thank you ..
Now it's time to vote as we do every meeting, for the clontarf gem.
Greg could you please explain the significance of the gem.

speech 7

He’e Nalu (Hey-Ee Nalu)
Mister toastmaster, fellow members and guests.
Tonight I'd like to share with you a little about one of my favourite pastimes, its history and its development.
But rather than tell you straight away what it is, I'd like you to use your imaginations.

I'd like you to imagine that you are Captain James Cook, the British sea captain.
The year is 1778 and some of your greatest achievements are behind you - laying claim to Terra Australis, exploring Australia's east coast and naming botany bay.
You've just become the first person from the Western world to visit the Hawaiin islands and as you're standing on deck one day you see something peculiar.
A young native man has an outrigger canoe positioned behind the breaking waves. Using immense skill, he paddles his craft quickly onto the crest of a wave and rides it gracefully to shore with a look of pure pleasure on his face.
When he's done he paddles back out and does it all over again.

Congratulations! You've become the first European to see a form of surfing.

For the past six months I've been learning to surf - in my case on a board - and while I haven't shown the same talent as the man seen by Cook, I share his enthusiasm.

Mostly I've been concentrating on getting up on the board, negotiating the different conditions and trying to avoid blue bottles.

But I've also begun learning surfing has a rich history, anchored in Hawaii.

Anthropologists speculate the first surfing took place in the island kingdom sometime before the 15th century and by the time Cook visited at the end of the 18th century, surfing culture was in full swing.

Cook was killed soon after his observation of the canoe surfer, but his offsider on the expedition, Lieutenant James King, wrote a full account of the traditional board surfing he saw:

''The men, sometimes 20 or 30, go (beyond) the swell of the surf and lay themselves flat upon a piece of plank about their size and breadth.
''They wait for the time of the greatest swell ... and altogether push forward with their arms to keep on its top.
''It sends them in with a most astonishing velocity and the great art is to guide the plank so as to keep it in a proper direction on top of the swell.''

For Hawaiians at the time of Cook's visit, surfing was an integral part of their very structured community.
It was a recreational activity; a way of expressing status; and achieving fame.
All walks of life surfed. The royals had their own breaks where no-one else was permitted .The commoners had their.
Gods were worshipped and a series of kapus or taboos dictated how society behaved.
These taboos extended to surf board building, how to predict when the surf would be good and how to convince the gods to make it good.

After Cook, however, life for the Hawaiians changed.
Being discovered by Europeans meant an influx of merchants looking for tradable goods and ships using the island group as a stop-over point.
From a pre-Cook estimate of 400,000 people, the population dwindled to 40,000 at the turn of the 19th century as disease and other ravages took their toll.
Surfing and the use of surf boards waned as missionaries visited Hawaii, urging the inhabitants to give up fun activities and apply themselves to work and god.

By the early 20th century, surfing was on the verge of extinction, with only a handful of people involved in the sport.

But a resurgence was on the way, ironically lead by the people of European descent who had helped put the sport in decline.

In 1907 the novelist Jack London visited Hawaii and fell in love with surfing.He wrote an account, describing the moment a surfer catches a wave:

``Where but the moment before was only the wide desolation and invincible roar, is now a man, erect full-statured ..... calm and superb, poised on the giddy summit, his feet buried in the churning foam, the salt smoke rising to his knees...''

The account stimulated interest in Europe and America, prompting affluent young people to travel to the islands and learn the art of surfing.

Meanwhile the best of the Hawaiian surfers began travelling the world, promoting their sport.
A pro by the name George Freeth gave surfing demonstrations in California, giving people there an enduring taste for the sport.
Americans usually regard him as the modern day father of surfing.

A few years later in 1915 a young Hawaiian champion swimmer by the name of Duke Kahanamoku was invited to Australia by the NSW Swimming Association to give a demonstrations of his style in the pool.
While he was in Sydney he carved an eight foot board out of sugar pine and took it down to Freshwater beach for the country's first ever surfing demonstration.

As in California the sport quickly caught on.

At the same time in Hawaii native Hawaiians were reclaiming the sport, establishing formal clubs to practice it and make sure its traditions were not lost.
Throughout the 20s, 30s and 40s, surfing slowly simmered away, growing in popularity until in the 1950s and 60s it exploded, as out leisure time increased and young people took to the sport in their thousands.

Over the past forty or fifty years the sport has become so strong it's hard to believe it was once under threat of extinction.
It has spread to countries including South Africa, Brasil, the UK and Peru.

It continues to grow in popularity and is now practised by everyone from young girls of eight to old men of eighty

And also slightly clumbsy but enthusiastic men from Balmain.

Thank you

speech 5

Terraforming Mars - 900 words
Mister toastmaster, fellow members and guests.
I'd like you to, if you can, imagine you're floating in space somewhere in our solar system.
In the far distance is the brilliant orange glow of the Sun and spinning nearby is the blue-green planet we know as the Earth.
The Earth is the third from the sun and is wrapped in an atmosphere rich in nitrogen and oxygen.
It has a cosy average temperature of about 14 degrees celcius.
The planet has abundant water and its surface is positively teaming with life, from the highest mountain peaks to the deepest oceans.
Its life forms range from the six billion human beings who have tamed its landscapes to countless plant and animal species and trillions and trillions of algae and bacteria.
Now turn your attention to the fourth planet from the sun: Mars.
It's a frigid world where temperatures can plunge to minus 160 degrees celcius and on an average day things don't get much above minus sixty.
The atmosphere is thin and made up mostly of carbon dioxide with a little argon thrown in.
Cosmic rays stream in from space, the air pressure is only about one one-hundredth that on Earth and the only water on the planet is frozen.
The polar ice caps are made mainly from carbon dioxide.
To human beings and every other form of life that we know of it is a toxic, hostile, deadly place.
But it doesn't have to be.
Humankind is now on the verge of our first manned missions to Mars - possibly as soon as 2025 - and in response science is proposing a host of ways to transform the red planet into a world like our own.
Under a process called terraforming or planetary engineering, over thousands of years man could give Mars a dense protective atmosphere and turn up the temperature to a level where plants could grow and people could live without space suits.
Eventually the atmosphere could also be made breathable.
There are two schools of ethical thought on terraforming.
Those for it say, transforming Mars would allow mankind to take a foothold elsewhere in the solar system, preserving our species in case of a catastrophe like a nuclear war or comet strike.
They say we have a right to alter Mars to suit our needs in the same way we've changed the Earth.
Opponents say mankind has no right to touch a pristine world and Mars should be left like the Antarctic as a national park.
They also argue, while it may seem sterile we may yet discover evidence of life on Mars and that should be preserved.
It's a debate that's sure to continue for some time to come.
If we do eventually decide to terraform Mars the main hurdles are going to increasing the surface temperature and thickening up the thin atmosphere.
Scientists say theoretically that's very possible and we can probably do both at the same time with something called the runaway greenhouse effect.
In the same way that grenhouse gases - things like chloroflurocarbon and carbon dioxide - are warming the Earth's atmosphere by trapping the Sun's heat, researchers say they say they could warm Mars.
If you can release a massive amount of the gases in the Martian atmopshere you would slightly increase the temperature which would melt some of Mars' frozen carbon dioxide.
This is turn would raise the temperature more and cause more CO2 to melt and so it would go on.
There are at least four proposals for to get the process started in the first place.
Number one would see massive mirrors built in space and placed a couple of hundred kilometres from Mars.
These would be used to bounce back the energy of the Sun and direct to the Martian surface where it would melt carbon dioxide and kickstart the greenhouse effect.
A second plan two would see massive greenhouse gas factories set up on the Martian surface, built from local materials.
These would work day and night churning out the most powerful greenhouse gases - CFCs - and so raise the temperature and thicken the atmosphere.
The third model involves smashing frozen deposits of ammonia into Mars.
Ammonia is a powerful greenhouse gas and scientists believe there are massive frozen supplies, stockpiled around the solar system, to which rocket engines could be attached.
The final option is even more dramatic.
Some scientists propose taking stockpiled nuclear weapons from Earth and detonating them at the Martian poles.
This would melt the frozen carbon dioxide at the poles and release it into the atmosphere.
Fall-out would blacken the planet surface meaning it would absorb more heat.
Opponents to the plan have some pretty serious reservations about contaminating the planet's surface in this way.
Whatever the technique chosen, it's likely that terraforming Mars would take thousands, perhaps tens of thousands of years.
But if the techniques work they could then be applied to other planets in the solar system - like Venus.
Unlike Mars, which is too cold, Venus is too hot for humans and its atmopshere is too thick.
While it's a long way off, I personally like the idea of terraforming.
I think its somehow comforting to think thousands of years from now our descendents might one day breathe in a lungful of Martian air, stroll beneath a Martian sky and raise kids on the red planet.

speech 4

Trouble is my Business (893 words, about seven minutes)
''It was about eleven o'clock in the morning, mid-October, with the sun not shining and a look of hard, wet rain in the clearness of the foothills.I was wearing my powder blue suit, dark blue shirt, tie and display hankerchief, black brogues, black wool socks with dark blue clocks on them. I was neat, clean, shaved and sober and I didn't care who knew it. I was everything the well-dressed private eye should be and I was calling on four million dollars.''
Mister toastmaster, fellow members and guests. That's not a description of my weekend.
Instead it's an excerpt from The Big Sleep, a book by one of my favourite authors.
Raymond Chandler was born in Chicago in 1888 and went on to write a series of short stories and novels dealing with gangsters, crooked cops, petty thugs, sexy sirens and private detectives in the Hollywood of the 1930s, 40s and 50s.
I'd like to tell you tonight a little bit about his life, his career and his works.
I believe he created one of the most entertaining fictional characters of all-time in his wise-cracking, macintosh-clad,steel-jawed private detective Phillip Marlowe.
His other achievement was to write some of the funniest, most imaginative prose in the detective fiction genre and to give Humphrey Bogart one of his greatest screen roles.
Chandler's early life was divided between the United States and Britain and critics say this allowed him to write about America's seedyside with something of an outsider's perspective.
At the age of seven in 1895 his parents divorced and he was taken to England where he was educated and became a British citizen.
In 1907 at 19 he got a job with the British civil service and then worked in various roles including as a freelance journalist.
In 1912 he returned to the US and started training as bookkeeper. Then when world war two broke out he signed up with the Canadian army and saw active service.
After the war he moved to Los Angeles where he landed a job in the oil business.
He married and managed to work his way up throught the company, eventually becoming a wealthy executive.
But Chandler had a vice - alcoholism - and in 1932 he was fired for drinking and absenteeism.
This proved a major turning point in his life.
He was forced to look for a way to support himself and his wife and began writing for pulp fiction magazines.
These were inexpensive books printed on cheap paper, usually with lurid covers, that told readers exciting crime stories.
Chandler's first short story, Blackmailers Don't Shoot, was published in Black mask magazine in 1933 and he proved to have a talent for the style.
He followed it up with more stories in Dime Detective and Detective Fiction Weekly, honing his style.
Chandler's stories were about the seedy side of life, blackmail, illegal casinos and bad, bad women with heavenly bodies.
Then in 1939 he finished his first novel, The Big Sleep, and introduced his most famous creation to the world.
Unlike Marlowe, who was diminutive, private detective Phillip Marlowe was 6 foot, very tall for the 30s, about 40 years old, solidly built with a rock hard jaw.
Able to handle himself in a fight Marlowe also had a college education, liked classical music and solving chess problems in his spare time.
He was willing to work for a pittance if the cause was right, carried a gun under his trench coat and kept a bottle of burbon in his dingy office.
In the Big Sleep Marlowe gets beaten up, is betrayed by three women and nealry loses his life before saving the day.
Chandler followed this book with Farewell my Lovely in 1940, another Marlowe adventure, which gave us this classic line: "I needed a drink, I needed a lot of life insurance, I needed a vacation, I needed a house in the country. What I had was a coat, a hat and a gun.''
In another scene a gangster is described as ''as inconspicuous as a tarantula on a piece of angel food cake''
Next came the High Window and the Lady in The Lake in 1942 and 43.
The Lady in the Lake gave us this line when Marlowe is describing an obnoxious bureaucrat: "To say her face would have stopped a clock would have been to insult her. It would have stopped a run away horse.''
As Chandler's books took off he was called onto write for Hollywood and he adapted Double Indemnity for the screen along with The Big Sleep in which Humphrey Bogart played Marlowe.
More books followed: The Little Sister, The Long Goodbye and Playback in 1958.
Sadly Chandler's own private life was about as irregular as Marlowe's.
His wife died in 1954 and depressed he began drinking heavily and his health deteriorated. He died in 1958.
It was a sad end, but Chandler's legacy lives on.
Crime writers from America's Robert B Parker to Australia's Peter Corris have tried to imitate and adapt his style.
Marlowe-like figures live on in dozens of cop shows and movies.
His books, with their references to meals in diners that cost a dime, cars with running boards and men in hats, are immensely readable sixty years on.
I'd recommend them to anyone who like a good read and a first class hero

speech 3

We Should Exercise More (770 words, about six minutes)
Mister toastmaster, fellow members and guests.
I'd to talk to you tonight about a subject I feel strongly about.
If you were here for my ice breaker speech two weeks ago you might recall I mentioned I felt passionately about exercise - touch football, swimming and dancing.
And I believe we as a society and as individuals should be doing more exercise.
To help me explain why I'd like to ask you to try to picture the typical Sydney family of 50 or 100 years ago.
Think of dad in his pork pie hat, mum in a floral print dress and two or three kids in tunics or shorts.
Their lives are very physical.
Maybe dad works at the docks at Darling Harbour or build houses or runs a shop where lifting is required.
Chances are mum stays at home and her life is physical too - boiling up the laundry and running it through the wringer, doing the washing up by hand and beating carpets if they need a clean.
The kids probably walk to school, muck around in the playground at lunch time and explore their neighbourhoods by bike after class.
Now think of the typical Sydney family today.
The arrival of computers and other machines means dad's job probably now involves sitting at a desk all, rather than using his hand. Mum might work in an office too and at home there's a host of labour saving devices to make life easier - a dishwasher, a washing machine, a vaccuum cleaner, a dryer.
The kids probably get a lift to school and after class play computer games or browse the internet.
It's a far less physical life.
The Federal Department of Health and ageing recommends for a healthy life we should get 30 minutes of moderate exercise on most days.
But a 2004 study by the NSW Centre for Physical Activity and Health found just 20 per cent of us were getting that.
And the lack of activity is affecting our health.
Health scientists say along with an increase in the calories we consume a lack of movement in our lives has seen the rate of obesity in Australia double in the past 20 years.
It's also led to a host of other health problems.
What's needed is more exercise.
Not so we can all have six pack stomaches or perfect bodies like people on magazine covers. But so we can better enjoy our lives and be healthier and happier.
My conversion to exercise came about six years ago.
I was smoking a packet of cigarettes a day and very inactive.
Then a long-term relationship came to an end and I moved to cheap housing near the beach.
To think things over I used to get up first thing in the morning and go for a walk.
The walking led to jogging, the jogging led to running and then swimming and football.
I found myself feeling fitter and happier. The cigarettes fell by the wayside too.
That's one of the benefits of exercise - our bodies produce chemicals such as adrenalin and dopamine, endorphins and seratonin which increase happiness and our enjoyment of life.
Being fitter also increases your mental sharpness and ability to do your job.
It reduces the likelihood of you developing a host of illnesses from heart disease to stroke, from diabetes to colon cancer and high blood pressure.
If you have a bad back it can help ease the pain and it strengthens bones and joints.
For the elderly just walking daily can increase longevity.
Exercise can also be social - keeping fit by playing for a team increases your links to the community and can be a great way to make new friendships.
So what's the best way to get involved in exercise if you're not already or to increase your involvement?
The Federal Health Department says it's good to start by making small changes to your daily tasks.
Instead of driving somewhere you could walk, or if you have to drive, park further away from your destination and walk the rest of the way. If you work in a building with a lift, try taking the stairs.
Then once your fitness is up you can move onto more fun activities, things like swimming and roller blading and pilates and cycling.
One website I visited researching this speech even suggested sexercise.
I don't know what that is but I'd like to find out.
So in conclusion, I've found exercise to be a great benefit to my life.
I think if Australians exercised more we could all be happier and healthier.
Thank you.

speech 2

About Me (838 words, ran about six minutes)
Mr Toastmaster, fellow members and guests.
As you've just heard tonight I'll be giving a speech. It's my Icebreaker speech and second formal talk to this group.
I was a little unsure where to go with this speech. Whether to start with my birth in 1969 and summarise 35 years in five minutes. Or to talk about where I grew up or my interests.
Instead I thought I'd start with letting you in on a goal of mine. I've agreed to give a half hour speech to about 30 strangers at the end of October and I'm hoping to do the best job I possibly can.
I'd like to tell you how this came about.
What I do for a living is I'm a journalist. I've worked for the last few years for The Sun-Herald, one of Sydney's Sunday newspapers.
For the past 15 months I've also been the editor of the science page, which I really enjoy.
Each week I write a column about a different science issue from cloning to alternative energy sources to the science of pouring a beer.
Often it's about space - the space shuttle, exploration of other planets or the use of various probes.
This attracted the attention of a group of space enthusiasts called the Sydney Space Association and about six months ago they began asking me if I would come along and give an address at one of their meetings.
At first I thought about some of the negative experiences I'd had speaking in public and said no.
In particular I thought of giving speeches in front my high school english class - the sneering, smirking
and face pulling - and that was just from the teacher!
But recently I've been thinking it could be fun.
I've also been thinking learning to speak better in public could be a real asset in social situations and
at work.
So last week I told them I'd do it and I'm booked in for later this year.
I feel a little anxious about it, but I'm also looking forward to it.
And I've been thinking about what makes a good speaker and looking for speaking role models.
I've heard some excellent speeches here so far which I've found inspiring.
I've also been thinking about some inspiring speeches I've heard outside toastmasters.
For example I was at surprise 40th birthday for a friend recently.
He thought he was turning up to a family barbecue but instead was greeted by 100 people wishing
him happy birthday.
After a few minutes getting over the surprise, he got up and spoke beautifully for 10 minutes thanking
everyone who'd turned and explaining how he felt when he'd realised what was happening.
I thought what a fantastic skill.
Another colleague impressed me with his comic timing in a tongue-in-cheek speech to celebrate 25 years with the company we work for, Fairfax.
He said before he came to work at the company he was working elsewhere and had heard a lot
about it.
He'd heard that the bosses were all fair and reasonable; he'd heard that the wages were generous; he'd heard the best the hours were good; he'd heard there was a subsidised canteen.
And eventually he got a chance to work there himself.
And he found out it was true.
There was a subsidised canteen.
I really admired the flair he was able to put into the speech.
For the last minute or so I'd also like to tell you a little about my life.
I was born in Sydney and I've lived in Balmain for the past five years or so.
I love exercise and when a slightly dodgy achilles tendon in my left leg allows me, I like to play touch football and to do the Bay Run around Iron Cove. I'm also a swimmer and I've recently been playing the work mixed netball team.
I love travelling and I've been to about 25 countries now. I lived in France for a while after university and I try to speak French when ever I get the chance.
On a trip to Bolovia I picked up another passion - for dancing.
I was in a night club there and I was really blown away that in the latin cultures - unlike here a lot of the time - the guys got up and salsa danced with the girls. I thought it looked great and I've learned a few dance styles since - salsa, ceroc, and swing dancing from the 1940s.
I also dabble with the guitar and I meet up with various mates every second week for a jam and sing along. If any of you feel like dropping by some time you'd be very welcome.
So that's a little about me and what i'm hoping to achieve here.
I've found it very inspiring seeing the group give speeches and I hope to learn more as the months go by.
Thank you for your support so far and I look forward to getting to know you better.

speech 1

(837 words, about six minutes)

Thank you.
Good evening Mister toastmaster, members and guests.
As you heard in the introduction, tonight I will be doing a review.
I've decided to do a book.
The subject of my review is A Short History of the World, written by Melbourne Academic Geoffrey Blainey and published by Viking Press in 2000.
It is as the title suggests a history book. It takes a look at the history of human kind from our very earliest ancestors up until the era of space travel and the internet.
In doing so the author condenses four million years of history into about 650 pages which I think is a pretty mean feat.
I'll going to try to go one better and tell you about those four million years and his book five minutes.
I've chosen this work for two reasons.
First of all, this is my first formal speech here and I wanted to focus on a work I was very familiar with.
I like this book so much I've read it twice, the second time just last week.
Second of all, I think it's a really valuable book.
I'm always interested in books that help us understand better who we are as human beings.
I like it when authors address issues like why we're on the planet, why our society works the way it does and why we behave the way we do as individuals.
I find it really inspiring how far we've come as a species.
The book's opening chapter is set on the plains of Africa about two million years ago.
Blainey says basic human beings have already been around for about two million years.
The people on the savannah are smaller than us, their brains aren't as big and they look a little bit more like monkeys.
But they stand upright, they use basic tools and they can adapt to their environment.
A change in weather is forcing them to explore other locations to live.
The book follows the species over the next two million years.
By about a million years ago they have made their way as far afield as Indonesia.
Sometime about 500,000 years ago their brains began to grow markedly in size and complexity, perhaps because they started eating more meat.
By 200,000 years ago their language skills had began to fully blossomed as had their ability to use tools and hunt.
Then about 60,000 years ago, early man had an extraordinary awakening. He began experimenting with arts and craft and produced cave paintings and human figurines.
He developed a belief in the afterlife and began to have exceptional tool making and hunting skills.
About 15,000 years ago the climate began to warm up as an ice age ended and early humans turned their hands to agriculture for the first time, harvesting crops such as wheat and barley and domesticating animals such as sheep and goats.
By 4000 years ago humans were making metal by smelting rocks and by 3000 years ago they were growing grapes to make wine. That's one break through I personally am pretty grateful for.
Blainey then takes us through more recent human history - the birth of writing in the Egyptian and Mesopotamian civilisations and the rise of democracy in Greece about four thousand years ago.
He looks at the rise of Judaism, Christianity of Buddhism and Islam.
Then its the rise of the mighty Roman empire and its fall to mongols and the arrival of the dark ages.
Then it's on to the renaissance and the reformation and the exploration of the world by countries like spain and portugal and the discovery of America.
Next it's the invention of the steam engine and the industrial revolution, the rise of cities and incredible inventions like the telegraph, the motor car and electric lighting.
Blainey takes us into the 20th century with the carnage of the two world wars, the arrival of television and the moon landing.
He finally takes a look at life today with our massive super-cities, lives interwoven with technology and the not too distant possibility of colonising other planets.
It's quite a story.
What I like about the book is the sense of perspective it gives to our lives. I think it shows so much has gone on in the past to allow us to enjoy the lives we do today.
I also like the author's easy-to-read style.
I do have one small qualm about recommending the book.
I found out while I was researching this speech that Geoffrey Blayney had made some controversial comments on immigration in the 1980s, which I thought was disappointing.
He has a great writing style and really fascinating way of bringing togother facts and I thought it a bit sad he had dabbled in politics.
However, I don't feel any sentiment like that comes through in the writing of this book.
Overall I think it's a compelling history of the progress of mankind and I'd recommend it to anyone interested in understanding the world around us.
Thank you.